Today I woke up to news of a friend from high school being severely injured in a suicide bombing in Afghanistan – by late afternoon it was confirmed that he had been flown to Germany to address his life-threatening wounds and died soon thereafter. David Smith was a Sergeant in the U.S. Marine Corps and a graduate of Frederick High School. He and I trudged through several classes together and shared many of the same friends. David was always a big guy with a big voice and I always felt like he could turn out to be the ultimate macho man, rambo tough guy, or an educated softie living a quiet and simple life in Frederick. He ended up choosing the former and as far as anyone can tell, enjoyed every minute of it. I don’t know much about David’s history after high school and what I knew I gathered from facebook: he was a Marine and many of his political views annoyed me, but I could never argue his love for our country. David was a brave guy with a kind heart and everyone who knows him will remember him dearly and miss him greatly.
I know it’s selfish to think of one’s own morbidity at the behest of a friend’s death, but I think there are salient lessons to be learned through such introspection. It hit me today that I live life crippled by fear. Not in the sense that I lack a certain machismo or physicality (I’ll never be that guy), but a fear of failure and judgment; the type of fear that will ultimately lead to a life of mediocrity and personal disappointment. Insecurity is paralyzing and irrational. Somewhere along the line, I got the idea that dying an enigmatic, under-appreciated figure was somehow more dignified or admirable than leaving behind a trail of clear and honest words and actions. Clear and honest. Living and dying in fear of judgment or ridicule only leads to being misunderstood both in life and in death – that sucks.
So what is the real takeaway here? No more fear. Well, less fear. To hell with the ‘what if…?’ questions. If I have words to say, say them. If I have songs to sing, sing them. If I have dreams to chase, chase them. The cost of failure is nothing when the veil of fear is lifted. If and when I die, I want to be clear where I stood, what I believed and what I wanted to do.
I love this so much; not in a mean-spirited or condescending way, I just love this so much.
Snapshot of our day together
Those who REALLY know me and my neurotic need to keep fingers clean while eating need to buy me this:
Now this, is just brilliant:
from 5oh7
Nobody will cry if you let Leno leave. How are you not understanding this?
So, Madden’s been doing well with the crate training and learning his space. Today I started showing him his space in the living room. He was doing well at first:
Calm and relaxed on Pillow Island
Then he notices his shadow on the ground and wants to escape Pillow Island to catch it
Still calm but notice the paws inching over the cliff of Pillow Island
Inching ever forward, his toy is now completely disregarded
Caught in the act! Trying to leave Pillow Island
He calms down after being caught but is still plotting his escape
At this point I'm cracking up and seeing how far he'll go
He army crawls so only his hind legs are left behind
I correct him again, he comes back. Then he uses his toy as a decoy - notice his eyes are still on escape
Madden the Bulldog
Dear Uncle Mike,
It’s been a long two decades, in fact we’re probably enduring the worst 20 year span of any sports town in history. “Passion” doesn’t begin to describe the desperation of this fan base for a competitive football team. It is carnal and maddening. Decades of humiliation and losing first led to rage and bloodthirst, then to confused bewilderment, and now to complete paranoid insanity where speculation and conspiracy theorists abound.
Winning cures it all. We don’t care how you win. We don’t care if you rebuild or reload or bring in a bunch of high school students as prospects. Just win. Win because it’s supposed to matter. Win because we deserve it.
They say it’s poor behavior to ask someone to do something we wouldn’t do ourselves; so, we’ll leave you alone and expect the owner to do the same. No matter how much we piss and moan, do it your way and win. We offer our last ounce of faith.
Yours Truly,
Redskins Nation
No one knows what the future holds, but I do know that the past has sucked. This is a happy day and a chance for a franchise to do right by its fans. Give him time, give him money and give him loyalty, Danny. Bring in Russ Grimm!!
click image to view larger
- Life is pliable
- Design is king
- Might be a good idea to learn Cantonese asap.
- Talent and ability are substantive above all else
- Telecasters are way cooler than stratocasters
- Most people have poor communication skills
- Get it done now beats get it done later… but not by much
- Good friends are hard to find and easy to keep
- Grabbing “life by the horns” sounds good, until you consider the risks involved
Whenever anybody tries to tell me that they believe it took place in 7 days, I reach for a fossil and go, “Fossil.” And if they keep talking, I throw it just over their head.
99% of all self-proclamations are void immediately upon leaving one’s tongue.
Calling oneself smart or cool or funny or humble wholly opposes the essence of such characteristic traits, it is shallow and asinine; akin to listing your mother as a professional reference.
Credit: Soulmate William Kim for the truism and empirically proven by every toolbag on earth
I plan on becoming an avid listener who poses (or doubles) as an avid reader. I’ve always been more auditory than visual and my retention and recall rate is much higher with aural stimuli than visual or tactile ones. I love the idea of reading (who doesn’t?), but I’ve never been one to sit and read for an extended period of time. Everyone knows the benefits and joys of reading, but there are a few things I hate about reading:
- My eyes get tired and I fall asleep
- It is a sedentary activity
- It is time-consuming
- It requires too much visual focus and concentration
- It is boring
I’ve concluded that audiobooks are the way to go for me most of the time. I will still buy books and read in the traditional sense – especially if I happen to enjoy an author’s literary style; since one of the major advantages of traditional reading is the improvement of one’s own writing style and technique. But overall, the content osmosis that takes place by reading or listening should be based on one’s learning style and preference. It’s time we got rid of learning style elitism and prejudice anyway.
The final word should go to blind folks who rely on tactile and aural learning exclusively – they may be blind, but they still read, do they not?
The Saddest Song Ever: Don’t Explain
Artist: Nina Simone or Damien Rice/Lisa Hannigan/Herbie Hancock
Because: if you were in her shoes you wouldn’t know what to do either.
The Happiest Song Ever: Don’t Worry Baby*
Artist: The Beach Boys
Because: it has the greatest first-line melody ever.
The Best Guilty Pleasure Song Ever: Always be my Baby
Artist: Mariah Carey
Because: You and I will always be, You and I.
The Best Recessional Song Ever: Let’s Not Shit Ourselves*
Artist: Bright Eyes
Because: It’s the perfect ending to anything self-servingly important.
The Coolest Song Ever: When the Levee Breaks
Artist: Led Zeppelin
Because: drums this big make everything else so uncool.
The Best Mental Preparation Song for a Contact Sport Ever: Henry Nearly Killed Me
Artist: Ray LaMontagne
Because: just because you knock a man down/doesn’t mean that you got him beat
The Most Soulful Song Ever: For All We Know*
Artist: Donny Hathaway
Because: we’ve all been there to some capacity.
The Most Overlooked Bob Dylan Song Ever: Don’t Think Twice, It’s Alright
Artist: Bob Dylan
Because: it’s a perfect little song.
The Most Heartbreaking Song Ever: Lover You Should’ve Come Over
Artist: Jeff Buckley
Because: it’s the sound of a man’s soul dying.
The Most Beautiful Song Ever: Now at Last*
Artist: Feist
Because: we have it all figured out when it’s too late.
*denotes songs currently on the playlist for my funeral
Fortune cookies have a prescient penchant for finding me at times they are most needed. My first day in a new office was eased by cool people and chinese food:
LA is good to me.
Remember the “I am Tiger Woods” commercials? Not too many folks saying that now. Weird.
My appreciation for marriage only increases as I start to age. It’s not so much the companionship or fun (as great as they are), it is the privilege and fortune of being accepted despite my physical decline – having a partner through the slow deterioration of my faculties. Time is cruel and heartless – it helps to have a partner.
If life is a movie, I want Explosions in the Sky to score every minute of it. EPIC.
I’ve been playing the Madden series since I was 11 and I’ve had some incredible franchise seasons (more than 25 19-0 seasons I think), but my latest 2017 season was pretty ace.
None of my players are created players or modified in any way. I draft and trade for real and computer-generated players only and I also don’t manipulate games or seasons to break certain records. I play 5min, unaccelerated quarters on the All Madden level. 2017 was the year it all came together:
Boar Jackson ran for 414yds and 8 TDs in Superbowl 53.
Mario Martinez, my stud OLB had multiple single-game records in 2017
Mario has 285 sacks in 6 seasons and obliterates single sack records
I used to think a lot about the possibility of a parallel universe or a twilight zone where my universe-copy would exist. I concluded that I would be awesome in any universe. That then brought me to ponder complete polar opposite in this life. Who represents the exact opposite of everything I am?
My Polar Opposite - Kate Moss
Why Kate Moss? Because the following quote is a perfect amalgam of everything I don’t believe.
Nothing tastes as good as skinny feels.
Dunce.
- Why in the name of all that is holy do Fall Out Boy have a Greatest Hits album already? Undeserved self-congratulatory nonsense.
- The principle of “dressing up” to go to church is outdated, foolish, and frankly, a bit hypocritical from a judaeo-christian standpoint.
- I have a sneaking suspicion that either art is dead, or I just can’t find it anymore. Both scenarios irritate me.
- Moving cr0ss-country is too expensive and makes me want to sell all my possessions and live in a van [down by the river]
- Why does “possession” need 4 S’s? It can totally be done with 3 with the same effect.
Life is great! I can stop at 5 irritants not withholding much. Life is great.
Not sure why, but I sat at my desk and cracked up at Yo Mama jokes for a good 30 minutes this morning. The following induced belly aches:
Yo mama’s teeth are so yellow, I can’t believe it’s not butter.
Yo mama so fat that when I swerved to miss her, I ran outta gas.
Yo mama so fat they run marathons around her.
Yo mama so fat she needs to iron her pants on the driveway.
Yo mama so fat she’s taller when she’s laying down.
When delivering a Yo Mama joke, never waste your time addressing her thick glasses or cross-eyedness or laziness. Never, ever address her skinniness (e.g. Yo mama so skinny I use her as a toothpick). Always stick with the classics: weight, intelligence and attractiveness.
The grammar of a proper Yo Mama joke is also crucial. Use as few contractions as possible and always end with a period rather than an exclamation point – this denotes a cold, emphatic statement of fact rather than an excitable madman’s rant.
Strangely unsentimental towards this place, but I’ll love it forever. Literally nothing but happy memories built here (except for the crippling depression from May-August 2009 while I reverted back to bachelorhood). Jason reminded me that the first weekend we moved in was the night he locked his keys in his car and had to spend the night on our brand new couch. A convenient little accident. My most profound memory of the place was the 7 days we had our puppy, I bet Eunice feels the same way. I love change.
Fight on, my men, I am hurt, but I am not slain;
I’ll lay me down and bleed a while,
And then I’ll rise and fight again.
