One time, when I was 12, I was in a McDonalds in Gaithersburg, MD for brunch. Out of nowhere a verbal fight broke out between a large, well-built black man and a middle-aged white woman with a Southern drawl. I don’t know how the fight started and I don’t remember everything that was said, but I do remember it escalated quite quickly.

After cursing one another repeatedly, the black man began aggressively pointing his finger down near the white lady’s face and said “B***ch, I’ll KILL you!” The white woman was clearly taken aback and wanted to say something, anything, equally threatening. There was an awkward pause in the yelling and she was obviously losing the proper timing for a harsh comeback. At the last minute she blurted what must have been the only clever response she could muster: “I’ll kill you back!”

I started laughing out loud and giggled uncontrollably because that was singlehandedly the worst and best comeback I had ever heard in my life. “I’ll kill you back!”